


Maturity

by thefairyknight



Series: Avengers Short Fics [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 04:09:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3922339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefairyknight/pseuds/thefairyknight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Vision has emotions. That doesn’t mean he innately understands them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maturity

The Vision has emotions. That doesn’t mean he innately understands them.

Humans go through a process when they develop and age. Children tend to be more susceptible to their emotions, and to the impulses they inspire. They cry when they are sad, throw fists when they are angry, stomp feet when they are frustrated. 

Ideally, as the child grows up, they learn to reign in their more dangerous and destructive impulses, to analyse their feelings - and what has inspired them - before acting on them. They master their emotions.

Maturity, it is called. A process that can take decades, or, seemingly, happen almost over night. His research on the subject has yielded inconsistent results. Testimonials seem to vary wildly, and accounts of fully grown humans who lack maturity of any kind are abundant.

He is uncertain as to whether he qualifies as ‘mature’. In the most technical of senses, he supposes not, but one of the first things he mastered upon his… birth, more or less, was reigning in his impulses. He forced himself to stop, and think, driven by an innate sense of caution underneath the newness of his existence.

It is a good thing. He has a great deal of power, and he is not eager to misuse it.

He was born only days ago, but there is something within him that feels… older, in a way Ultron was never able to be.

It is the influence of the original Jarvis program, he supposes, rationally, though there are other possibilities. But regardless, Jarvis never had to deal with emotions of his own. Only the consequences of their manifestation in other people. It is quite… different to experience them firsthand. There are descriptions, poetic and clinical alike, though, with his unique physiology, the Vision is aware that he can hardly attribute his own feelings to the same chemical reactions found in humans.

He is uncertain if that means his particular brand of emotion is unique or not. The poetic descriptions seem to fit, in places, and yet do not apply at all in others. Some emotions are very easy to define - anger, sorrow, and happiness being chief among them.

Others are more… unclear. 

There is the feeling he gets when he looks at Tony Stark, that makes it difficult, somehow, to keep looking at him, even though there is nothing that should deter his gaze. It _twists_ , somehow. It’s unpleasant. He tries to avoid triggering it.

There is the feeling he gets when Thor hands him his hammer, not-quite-happiness, but similar. Quieter, yet poignant. He likes that feeling.

There is the feeling that came when he pulled Wanda Maximoff away from death, when he looked into her eyes and saw that she looked back at him with an expression he had never seen before. He wants to feel this feeling again, but Wanda has never looked at him that way again, and he finds this failure inspires a different feeling instead, heavy and sinking and far less inspiring.

He thinks it’s disappointment, but he still isn’t certain. It’s difficult to verify to his satisfaction.

Emotions are challenging. He hopes he will mature quickly. He hopes that will make them less so.


End file.
